Stillness Is Training

I can't meditate, and I stopped believing that means I failed. Stillness is trainable, meditation is one path to it, and the honest job is to find yours.

I can't meditate. I have tried, on and off, for a year at a stretch, and sitting on the floor emptying my mind does not calm me, does not help my sleep, and does not bring me peace. For a long time I read that as a personal failure, because the whole culture told me meditation was the answer and I could not make the answer work. I was wrong about the failure, and so is the culture about the answer. Stillness is real, it is trainable, and it matters. Meditation is one door to it, a well-studied one, and a good one for the many people it serves. It is not the only door, it is not always the best door, and for some people it does not work at all. This is what the evidence actually says, what I do instead, and why the honest job, mine as a coach and yours as a person, is to find the way that quiets your particular mind.